Thursday, March 25, 2010

Schism looming for Alchemite Leaders?

A former Alchemite has gone into police protection to escape vengeance of her former fellow cultists.

This blog has learned that the Prima known as Breeze has been a gold mine of information on how the cult has managed to stay out of police custody.

Breeze has told authorities that the cult's leader, self-styled goddess Sahara Knax, has hidden caches of magical objects in locations throughout the United States. The location of these caches is revealed to senior Alchemites, who retrieve them for use in their ongoing rebellion against the Federal Government.

Rumor has it that competition for the various chantments is fierce. If Breeze is to be believed, bickering has broken out among the faithful over dispensation of the most powerful objects. Though no Alchemites have come forward publicly to accuse their leaders of hoarding or misusing magical objects, another sign of dissent within the cult may be a photo that has been widely distributed on the Internet this week.

The picture appears to show two missing children at the heart of the government effort to repress the Alchemical cult. Ellie Forest and her brother Carson have been missing since their mother Caroline joined Sahara, shortly after the original mystical outbreak in September 2009. The image of the two children, which immediately went viral, is dated March 21st and shows them posing with the Alchemite known as Passion. Its source has not been traced.

The children's father, former Portland Oregon police detective William Forest, has made no official comment as yet on the image. The Bureau of Mystical Affairs has confirmed, however, that the reward for the children's safe return was increased, last week, to $75,000 U.S.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Magic to clean up Great Pacific Garbage Dump?

An individual using the alias "Rumplestiltskin" claims to be removing tons of plastic garbage floating in the North Pacific Gyre.

According to an e-mail sent directly to this blog, Rumplestiltskin possesses a magical object, a chantment, that extracts pollution from seawater without damaging marine plant or animal life. According to Rumplestiltskin, the object, a baby's teething ring, was a 'gift' and came with written instructions on how to use it safely.

"Nothing on the materials provided says whether this object came to me from Sahara Knax and the Alchemites, but I am not a believer in the Alchemite cult," writes Rumplestiltskin, who added that some of the plastic is being burned in a home-built generator to provide power for their effort to clean the ocean.

The North Pacific Gyre is located in the Northern Pacific Ocean and is reputed to be heavily polluted with small particles of plastic garbage, over an area twice as big as the State of Texas.

Rumplestiltskin is not the first chantment user to claim to have successfully turned ordinary electricity into power for magical objects, a claim that has yet to be verified. The proposition that people use some form of recitation, sometimes referred to as "cantation," to channel power into their mystical objects is becoming widely accepted. Cantations have been said to allow mystics to draw power from their surroundings: including the life energy of nearby animals and people. This last procedure, known as vamping, has been used to deadly effect by Alchemites in their clashes with law enforcement.

The fact that magic requires energy has been well-documented, and in one well-publicized experiment, physicist Ravi Sharp has shown that a candle and a light-generating chantment use the same amounts of energy to produce comparable amounts of light. Sharp argues that this implies that magic cannot be used to simply reverse climate change and other devastating effects of human habitation on earth. This runs strongly contrary to claims made by Sahara Knax and her followers.

"If the power requirements are comparable, we will still need fossil fuels to accomplish large-scale effects, just as we would through the use of technology. This implies that using magic to combat pollution might simply beget more pollution."

In a related story, Sharp went missing from his home in Brooklyn, New York, two weeks ago.

Rumplestiltskin's e-mail message includes a call for a volunteer video-blogger and a marine biologist to witness and document the use of the magical teething ring. The e-mail message promises future communications, including a schematic of the power generator and information about the cantation used to turn electricity into magical energy.

The Canadian and U.S. Coast Guard have statements to the effect that individuals caught using magic in coastal waters will be arrested and prosecuted under the increasingly strict anti-mystical laws.